The Dangerous Emotional Intersection Of Your House And Your Divorce

I remember quite clearly when I sold the home where I raised my kids. 

It was the only home my youngest son knew with me. It was the home I had moved into just six months before separation from my then husband.

My sons and I spent all of the holidays reminiscing about the times we had there.

There was the trampoline pit that morphed into a fire pit. A back porch that transformed from hosting birthday parties for youngsters into a place of gatherings for teenagers just chillin'. I remember all the conversations that were the victims of my eavesdropping. I remember all the good times and good friends. On our final night, we all sat on the steps and just had a good cry.

The decision to sell the house was purely economic which made it kind of tough!

I loved that house! It had grown into a warm, inviting space. During the holidays all my children’s friends passed through, fondly enjoying being there for the last time. One even told me my back porch had been one of the spaces he had felt most safe.

I remember the Christmas parties with Santa, the celebratory parties for birthdays, graduations, family celebrations and just all the good times.

It's easy to recall all the renovations over the years. From spaces where every wall needed to be mudded, to a space where elegant stone work by local artisans hugged its borders, caressed by Christmas snow.

Selling something that you love this much, that holds your history and memories is never easy!

But every day, I help folks make reasonable financial decisions that make good sense for their futures--but also aren’t easy.

When I work with divorcing couples, the home is one of those difficult decisions.

Do we keep it or sell it? If we keep it, who is the "fortunate" one? Can they afford to keep it?

Even if they can is it the best decision for their financial future?

How do we equalize things for the spouse leaving the home, and how do we help them with the transition?

And how does this affect our kids?

What do we do to help them with the transition of maybe staying in the home that one of their parents is now leaving, or else moving themselves to two new and different homes?

Each of these questions deserve attention, we'll discuss them in detail here in this blog.

​Do I miss my home? You betcha! I’ll probably share more about that, too...

​Want to know more about financial planning for a smarter divorce? 
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